Challenge

Threenagers.

It’s a thing.

LPI’s brand of rebellion has always been spectacular. We try to calmly and firmly explain that the screaming /hitting /snatching is not acceptable and if that fails to work, we leave her to it and calmly tell her that it won’t get her what she wants. Then ignore it. Maaaaan it is so hard!

Usually she wants the thing LPO has, and that is what leads to the above behaviour.

It isn’t always that though. This morning’s stroll to nursery was not as smooth as it might have been apparently, as LPI managed to stall mummy AW for an HOUR with her histrionics. LPO sat patiently in the buggy but LPI (whose spot is on the buggy board) just refused to continue. She began by saying she needed a poo. Then started saying that LPO could go to nursery but she was going to walk home by herself. This walk is along a really busy road – there is no room for tactical ignoring here. She said all sorts of stuff about wanting to go and find me, about wanting to go to work and not to nursery… it went on and on, well as I already said for an hour.

Once we got home, there was more, sparked by wanting the exact item LPO had, and not being allowed to snatch it. LPO was not showing her most charming side, either. LPO’s yells and hitting have also been pretty dreadful, but then both girls have been grouches due to being unwell. What with all the transitions going on, we are hoping things will soon calm down.

The girls remain on the fence about nursery. They generally like it when they’re there- a lot. They are coming on loads with their letters and sounds and tell us lots of stories. LPI is generally quiet and well behaved there – LPO has had major and minor tantrums and crapped. 

They were definitely ready to start it. 

How do you deal positively with such challenges? 

Don’t be shy! Please leave a comment – it’s hugely appreciated!

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9 thoughts on “Challenge

  1. What has usually worked for me (in a school setting anyways) has been to set a timer. One can have the item until the timer goes off or they stop playing with it. Then it’s the other persons turn…..rinse and repeat.

      1. If LPO doesn’t seem to mind giving up the toy, perhaps just teaching Them to ask politely. It doesn’t always go as planned, but they are still young and just learning. If they were say 6 or 7 and still doing it I would be more inclined to be concerned but at this stage they don’t really know much better. The world revolves around them (so they think).

  2. Our tot is pushing his luck at the moment and has started with some pretty epic tantrums. We’re doing warnings and naughty spots which is working for us quite well. I keep my cool because there’s a strict step by step thing to follow and the boy knows there will be a consequence so heeds the warning more and more. The spot also gives him a little space and chance to cool off. I don’t think it fits with your philosophy though.
    I think everyone has a rough time at this ages. I hope it gets easier as they get older. Best of luck x

    1. We do send (or threaten to, which is sometimes enough) send them to the bedroom alone sometimes- but we still prefer to try discussing it calmly in the face of the flailing. Sometimes a very big strong cuddle works to bring down the emotions and then you can talk, but one of our good friends insisted that meant in toddler logic “scream = cuddles /attention”. Gentle parenting says it means “I’m losing my shit aaahhhhh but I can count on my mummy to make it less awful …. Don’t need to lose my shit”. I just dunno. It seems to make sense but we have to wait and see if we gradually get through our messages of calm….. Argh

      1. I never thought to try cuddling. When I’m mad the last thing I’d want is someone to touch me. They’d get a punch on the nose. Sending calm thoughts xxx

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