Too-de-loo

You will all be enraptured to know that there has been considerable impoovement in our household. It is still some way from being impoocable but LPI has been consistently dropping her kids off at the pool***
A month ago, we were followed constantly by the faint whiff of poo on our hands and the threat (and very frequently the arrival) of a squelchy shit-your-pants situation. It was a hard time for us mummies. Shittacular,  stinktastic, if you will. There is nothing like a toddler who has firmly decided nappies are old news and knickers are in but is not yet in control of their sphincter. Oh, unless you count the other one. It rather puts a damper on any outing or activity to know that anyone or anything involved could find themselves in receipt of an unwelcome faecal matter experience. 

The suspense was compounded by speculation not only when there might be a poosplosion, but furthermore what in what manner it would present.

If you were lucky, it would be a Pungent Turd. These are the best because they are firm and seepage is minimal. We are alerted by their smell so their presence can be swiftly acted upon.

Soft Shits are more difficult as they can both seep and smear. The slimy carnage wreaked by these worsens rapidly with the passing of time and one swiftly noted will at least potentially remain intact, but any continued activity will pretty much guarantee at least some poo juice permeating Toddler’s trouser fabric. The associated spreading of poo particles over all the places with which Toddler’s backside interacts is a particular highlight. Peeling these poosasters off usually involves spreading the filth down Toddler’s legs and if you are really on a roll, then their socks too. 

Anyway, I digress. Just like that, LPI IS POOING IN THE LOO. IT’S AMAZING. LPO is not far behind, but it is about 2 weeks since we have had almost no accidents (even of wee)!

***US friends – that is a funny saying for a number 2.

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