Hmm. You might like to try and get your life back from time to time with twin toddlers around. Try being the operative word. Thought you might complete that nice little 4km woodland loop? Even with all the good toddlerwearing will in the world, you’ll be lucky! Ways a walk in the country can be ruined by toddlers: 1) They stop. Everywhere. It is possible that if this is the only issue you encounter, that you’ll be able to complete your walk, perhaps by the early morning of the next day. If nothing ate you during the night. 2) They climb everything without regard for its potentially life-threatening drop to a cliff-bottom/ river/ pond/ viper lair/ other low-down hazard. 3) They ask you for ice cream every 5 minutes. 4) They refuse to eat the food you provided for them, even if yesterday it was their favourite. 5) They poo: a big smelly disgusting one. (Silver lining: all poos done outside the house are poos which do not sit in the bathroom bin because it’s really creepy in the basement where you have to put the rubbish). 6) They want to be carried in your arms. Not wrapped. No movement shall occur using their own bodies. They may choose to emphasise this by lying down on the forest floor or pavement. 7) They want to be wrapped. Oh, no what’s that? They want to get out and run. 8) The souvenir stalls are Just. Too. Much. 8) See number 5. 9) Due to number 4, we see numerous repeats of 3. 10) Also due to number 4, you can’t sit for a coffee and cake, because that means all they will have eaten all day is cake and you cappuccino foam.
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