Reflections on attachment parenting


I’ve been reading a lot of blogs about being a mummy whose subject matter ought to be dry, but isn’t. In fact, there are many which have made me laugh out loud.
I know a blog is a work in progress, but mine is all jumbly and a bit serious and I would like that to change. I mean- I don’t seem actually to blog about so much mummy stuff. We have so much else going on as well as being twin mummies.
Here then, cometh a post about tantrums.
I mean take this morning. This morning this I was alone with the girls at bathtime. I think this wash the first time I REALLY lost my shit with Olive.
I’m upset that I did that, but to try and smooth over my wounded mummy ego, let’s poke fun.
Clever, eh? It is a catharsis.
So mummy AW has gone out to the market to buy some more stuff. I left with the simple job of bathing and dressing the children.
Except it’s not. Because there I’m really bad at loads of bits of being a mum. One of those bits it would seem, is everything to do with managing the twins. I’m a touchy-feely attachment parenting sort of mum and usually try to handle tantrums with warmth and support and empathy as well as talking about it. but I am
not a super human.
So LPI got in the bath when she was supposed to. Lovely. Except that when AW left for the market, LPO was fighting with me about the toothbrush and the toothpaste. I’m really not sure what she was upset about but she went on and on until Mummy AW came back. It was a full 40 minutes and I did not manage to get LPO and LPI ready for the day. Not by a looooong shot.
I reflect on my mothering skills on days like these and think I must be doing something wrong. Should I have done all that military baby whisperer /Gina Ford training? I didn’t because I don’t like it, but I do feel self conscious about our girls’ free spirits and strong wills (those are always used as euphemisms, aren’t they?!)
Things we do that aremet moth bafflement are as follows: there is the continued breastfeeding and the carrying. There is the co-sleeping. I’m selective about whom I tell. I know other children of this age who’re totally weaned. They are really compliant or walk without fussing. They can use a potty. Ours can be really very clingy. And of course, they are *extremely expressive* and *emotionally literate*. Cough.
Is it that:
…I am a crap disciplinarian?
…I have created a monstrous pair of self important madams through ‘heading their every need’?
…My kids have been replaced with alien spies whose objective is to discover how far human mothers can be pushed?
Or preferably just that I have two toddlers who are in competition?
Who knows?
I suppose,  as we are in this for the long haul, we’ll find out later. Attachment parenting is supposed to yield long term results such as harmonious teen years. Things we do aim to promote a natural child-centred dynamic and involve a concerted effort to parent positively without time-outs etc. Sometimes we just can’t manage all of it, and I guess that’s ok. Our international galavanting (euphemism! read Visa issues) can’t be helping us focus. I suppose you could say that we are piling in all the resources we have now and we are stretched to the limit, but we hope to get a good return on our investment.
Here’s freaking hoping!
 (Maybe I’m just not very funny- is a financial metaphor the best I can do?!)

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5 thoughts on “Reflections on attachment parenting

  1. I think you just have two terrible twos. What your describing doesn’t seem any different from what I see with toddlers not being raised in the attachment parenting style. When we go to the baby group the Baby is very clingy and hangs off us while others roam around and explore. I’ve been worrying that it’s because we DON’T do attachment style and months of Cry it Out and bottles have made our wee boy nervous and not confident. I think you can’t win.


    1. Thanks mama – it does make me feel better. I suppose however you manage your children there will be times you question your approach – we just have to do our very best.
      We had a good day today with lots of independence and fun, and almost no screaming at all. 🙂

  2. I too think it’s just the terrible twos. I am a worship leader for a large church in the US which means we get recognized everywhere we go. When our daughter was going through this phase EVERY ONE had an opinion and a suggestion as to why my daughter was the way she was… Some even said it was because I spent too much time in ministry and not with my daughter… That she was neglected and seeking attention… Ect ect… I felt HORRIBLE knowing people talked about me this way and that way but at the end of the day, you do WHAT YOU DO and let the rest say what they want because bottom line is you’ll never please anyone…

    Just keep swimming:-)

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