Despite having made some yummy gingerbread this weekend, I have to say I have lately been feeling something akin to despair fairly regularly. I mean, regarding the girls. They just… Wind each other up, wind us up. It is constant. One, or both are ceaselessly hanging off me, crying to be carried, fighting over the same one toy or piece of food out of a houseful…
By the end of a bad day, I never remember what specifically made me feel so… Desperate. When I express this AW points out two things: that she deals with this every day and that we aren’t doing something wrong to make them scream and wail like banshees. This is just what happens, partly because there are two of them, she says.
I do worry though.
We have made choices to be a close, ‘attached’ family. I stand by those choices, but I read that attachment parenting creates children who cry less. Our two do not do that. I wonder whether I will ever feel that I’s propensity for screaming is not due to O’s breastfeeding, and her not; O being worn and her not (she just wouldn’t! She always screamed blue murder!). Now she wants to but I only have one back.
We try so hard to show both of them that we love them equally. But I loves to run over and pluck away the toy O had just picked up. She also has been hitting O for ages. Now O has finally begun to retaliate. They are accordingly at each other sooooo much of the time. We try to address it without anger or raised voices, but sometimes it feels like it is a constant battle and I/ we have no idea what to do.
Maybe it is only because they are not feeling well at the moment?
Twin mamas, any insight? Words of comfort?