Donor dedication:

(Image credit,

Yesterday, when I sat down to write a blog post, it was not supposed to be a poem. My intention for the last few days has been to pen a post about our good fortunes in terms of our donor.

Since beginning our process, I have had contact with many dozens of women and same-sex couples, and there are no other couples I know who have been able to have their sperm-cake AND eat it in the way that we have.

I want to say, not for the first time, that we are in a wonderfully fortunate position. We found a real life man, with whom we have some acquaintance, who is bright, talented and full of character. He is also very easy on the eye. We got to know lots about his health, his past, and his quirks. We met his parents. We were invited to his wedding (but couldn’t attend, unfortunately). With nary a complaint, he took our sterile little pots into sterile little rooms and every time he managed to deliver his little loads. He accepted no payments, and we did not have to have anything shipped from California or Copenhagen from a man-catalogue (I make no judgements about this- but it would have been comparatively difficult and expensive to find an Asian donor).

He has been to visit us with his wife 4 times since the girls were born, and each time he and his wife have been absolutely delighted and delightful with the girls. Even though they are now beginning to struggle with their own lack of conception, neither he nor his wife has ever, ever suggested or shown that they are saddened by the strong, healthy girls they have given us. Now we will leave the country and we hope that he will send them birthday cards and have the role of a distant uncle.

The only drawback to our situation is that because we didn’t name him on the birth certificate, despite their Thai heritage, the girls do not (and cannot gain, at present) Thai citizenship. this saddens me, and AW and I both hope that in the future this may change with the possibility of legislation to protect same-sex couples and families here in Thailand.

I want to say tho the world, to the heavens and to him, THANK YOU. You have enriched our lives beyond measure, and there are not many men who would do as you have done.


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