Strain.

I don’t think I have felt like I can’t cope before, or if I have, it’s so long ago that I now can’t remember. Twin-motherhood is so intense, older experiences quickly seem distant.

Ongoing strains: the non-sale of my flat in the UK, due to the damp in the communal hallway and the interminable slowness of UK traders (and having to deal with about 75 mediating parties because the issue is not my direct responsibility); the need to find a job; my actual job; the twins’ incessant demands; the twins’ refusal to sleep /nap. Current additional strains; extra ad-hoc jobs at work (writing the year group show; report-writing; the governors’ report for my subject); the protests and the devaluation of Thai currency so that I now have to send more home; twins sleep regression (waking at 4, so that I’m basically awake from that time); pasting an email to a senior manager with a quip about how they’d taken an age to reply still in it (as I’m so F@&!*n’ knackered) prompting a really… Disappointing exchange where you’d think they hadn’t known me for 5 years at all (I think in my attempts to compensate for the original offending gaffe (which obviously hit a nerve) I was very formal in the next message and may have sounded sarcastic! I dunno, but I really like this person so I hope as much as I have irritated her, it will just be a storm in a teacup. But it adds to my pile-up. Ya know?); the fact that last weekend I identified 7 jobs I want to apply for, and what with everything else, it is now Saturday again and I have not yet sent one; oh, and the tummy bug. Yay.

But I’m coping. I think. I need to apply for these jobs this weekend. Auntie is away till lunch today then I am off out away from my (non-stop-demanding-little-monsters) angels to concentrate.

Xxx

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