People say it goes fast. It’s faster than fast. It’s faster than a speeding bullet, or the speed of light etc etc… Thanks for reading if you are still following, and here is what i have to say at this point:
I have the tail end of a ‘bleb’. My nipple got sore and a white dot appeared on it. Turns out they are connected. The white dots are blockages of ducts. After ignoring it for a week, and hoping it would go away, turns out that it wouldn’t – I needed antibiotics. Here we are another week later and it has stopped hurting but my weird little white dot is really hanging in there.
How is it going?
Well, as I say the girls have just turned THREE MONTHS… It’s crazy looking back at the early pictures..! The changes are huge. The most important observation I can make at this point is that these baby girls are the least alike twins I could imagine. They are SO different. You can see from pics that they don’t look alike but they are completely different in temperament and also in their tastes and preferences. Olive appears to be very laid back. As long as she isn’t hungry, she is now happy to entertain herself on the mat, or to be passed around adoring strangers. Poor little Ivy cries a LOT, and only rarely will she be calm enough to behave that way. Ivy likes to be held, but won’t accept her holder to sit down. . These differences between the girls are fascinating.
A few days ago I was alone with both girls for the first extended period of time. I had been pretty nervous about it, but it went really well actually. Because the girls are not scheduled it does make them easier to cope with, in that they are not always awake together. Both girls love to be held, especially Ivy, so when you are alone with both girls awake, you know there will be some wailing. Another thing that’s good about having these few months of experience behind us is that the crying is no longer terrifying. In fact having a sense of humour about Ivy’s moods is by far the best way for us to deal with them.
First night out
I went to a local twins dinner this week. I was late as I didn’t have Olive asleep by 7.30, but I was able to leave by about 8.10 and I thoroughly enjoyed he thrill of a motorbike taxi ride. Quite liberating, especially knowing the girls were none the wiser that I had left them at all.
Sometimes I wonder if Ivy cries because she is colicky, and if so, whether if she had more breastmilk that that could improve. But damn- it is difficult to pump more than twice in a day while having any semblance of sanity. You have to time the pumping long enough after the last and before the next feeds, and god forbid you might have something else to do in that time! I know some might judge me, breast feeding one twin and giving the other mostly formula, but the truth is, there are millions of strong and healthy people who were fed formula when they were babies. I’m not going to feel bad about it. It is the solution that fitted our situation. I’ve tried to feed her at the breast and she won’t take it. It’s disappointing, but I don’t think I can force her any more at this point.
The 9 hour sleep (20th)
They are generally going to sleep at between 7.30 and 8.30 and waking once in the night. Amazing!! One time, they slept from 7.30-4.30am, and that’s the record!
So we are now at three months post partum, and although the collateral is not as bad as I feared, I’ve only dropped about 20 out of the 28 kilos I gained. I’ve never had a very good body image, but for that reason I have exercised regularly for most of the last 6 years or so. I’m concerned about getting going again, as I don’t want to do anything that takes me away from the girls. I used to run home from work, so I suppose I’ll try taking that up again when I go back.
My favourite body part was always my midriff, and let me tell you, it’s not quite the same after a twin pregnancy. My neat baby bump looks a lot less neat now that it’s empty!
Going back to work:
I am feeling very stressed out about leaving the girls to go back to work. Especially Olive, because she is currently exclusively breastfed and is very close to me. I think the first few days, maybe the first few weeks will be heartbreaking for both the girls and me. I need to have a plan over these next three weeks – a plan to actively distance myself from my girls, especially Olive. It’s gonna SUCK. I can feel myself filling up as i think about it because they won’t understand. I love them so much. Perhaps the first time will have to be this Sunday, and then perhaps every other day I will go out either with Ivy or alone. Auntie has to get Olive into practise feeding from a bottle, and Olive has to learn to get her comfort elsewhere as Ivy can. The good thing is that work have placed me down in EY1 for the last 8 weeks of the school year, so my day ends at 12.30 instead of 2.20 (at least in theory). Realistically that should mean that i’m gone from the house from 6.20- 1 some days and others there will be prep and planning to do. But it’s not bad, eh? And thoughtful staffing on my behalf. I’m not sure at what time I will fit in the pumping though. Do I really plan to resume running home from work..? Let’s see about that..! I go back on April 23rd.
I will post picture separately- thanks for following 🙂