We have been ordered to top up both babies with formula 😦
It’s really, really, REALLY hard. I feel like I can’t do the most natural, nurturing thing in the world. I’m caught between two cultures as well; although very few mums do successfully breast-feed long term, I thought I’d be up to it with a little determination. In the UK you have a midwife who comes round and helps you. You’d also have ante-natal classmates and other new mums to help you, and my own dear mum too. Here at the moment i have only AW. Perhaps I still will be able to do it, but for now I have to rest and pump to get the milk going.
Our babies have both lost weight (and you know how critical that is already for Ivy), and worse, Olive has critical jaundice through hunger. If either twin worsens, they are back in SCBU next week.
We went in to hospital because Olive’s umbilical stump is oozing, and came out with all this more stressful info.
I feel like such a failure. I know I shouldn’t. I will just need to pump as often as possible. AW is as always very very supportive, and her family too, albeit in a very un-English way. It is cultural. Chinese-Thai families are caring in a tough love sort of way. I miss my mum SO much. Good job it ‘s only 9 days till she’s here for a while!