The future

Now we have decided on a plan and the babies are on their way, I am so anxious to get on with it. The plan is to relocate to the UK. We will spend some time with my lovely parents in the house I grew up in by the sea, and then move to the city. AW the superchef will wow the bigwig superchefs in London the same way she wows everyone here, and I will go back to working as a state school teacher in the capital. (But initially I will be a yummy mummy who doesn’t work)

The timeline looks to be just out for a relocation in July 2013, which means staying on a full year longer in Bangkok than either of us really wants to. Still those two years are to be jam packed with tons of new stuff to keep us occupied. We won’t even notice that we are in Bangkok during the twins’ first year- we’ll be focusing on coping! So 2013 just a holiday; 2014 the relocation. That’s the plan as it stands while we are still childless. Who knows, it might very well change due to the arrival of twin and twin.

Here’s why July 2013 wouldn’t be great:

  • We’ll be adjusting to mother(s)hood. Everything will still be incredibly new and our two won’t yet be capable of much.
  • I could well still be in the midst of trying to sell my apartment in my parents’ town. I know it’s ‘not the best time to sell’, but I have a lot of money locked in there and we will never move in now – it’s too small. We will need that money to get going with the future – to put the deposit down on the place we plan to get for our family 🙂 It is going on the market in March 2013 – at the start of ‘selling season’.
  • We need to send the Visa app in March of the year we leave for a Jun/ July outcome. That means getting it all together Jan- Mar when the twins are newborn. We’ve got a big stash already but it’s not organised and the process and the waiting time will be stressful.
  • We want to save some money before we go. Again, this is underway BUT has been super-impeded by high costs of IVF.

I think trying to rush home in 2013 would be a very emotional decision and perhaps not the best one. Any thoughts?

I can’t really explain what’s happened to my love affair with Bangkok. One year ago there was no way I was ready to leave. One year on and I feel a strong pull towards the rainy, over-priced and po-faced country I call home. I think that sadly, thee feelings have come from getting to know the ‘real’ Thailand. Below the shiny, smiling surface is a country buried in contradictions which I cannot even write freely about. I don’t want to turn a blind eye to these problems for the sake of an easy life. It sure is easy here- I have a wonderful lady who cleans and does all our washing and ironing – a taxi costs peanuts and our (free) apartment is amazing. But my life here isn’t real life; I cannot be accepted as Thai despite my language skills and there is a very real and justified resentment of ‘farang’ like me. My relationship is not-recognised and nor is what will be my legal family unit (in UK law). I am impatient for the future to be here..!

Who knows what the future holds? I’m not sure but I know that I can handle it with AW by my side. I am so hugely excited to be her wife.

ALSO: Amazing Vietnam – as if I haven’t been blown away enough by it as it is – is considering the legalisation of same-sex marriage! Read about it here:


5 thoughts on “The future

  1. Sounds like you two are going to be busy with so much going on!!! I am super excited for you and A!!! Wishing you two all the best!!! Are you going to find out the sex of the babies?

    1. Yes, on Tuesday, if they behave. We are thinking of asking dr to put it in writing and sharing it with my parents on Skype when we open it. I think that will be another first for our dr’

  2. Wait, are you talking about going back to the UK in Summer 2013 or Summer 2014?
    It was hard to tell the way you wrote it.
    You are correct to assume that having everything ‘together’ and ready to ‘go’ and dealing with this as the twins are newborns is going to be incredibly complicated and exhausting.
    I have a friend in the Netherlands who was thinking of relocating once the twins were born and I kept trying to talk her out of it. Now, her twins are 2 months old and she realizes what I was trying to tell her. I’m definitely not saying it’s impossible. But I don’t know that there’s that much of a ‘pro’ in moving forward that quickly.
    I say stay in BKK the first year. You have some family help nearby, hired help is cheap, cleaning/laundry (especially with cloth nappies) is cheap, massages (that you will want to indulge in) is cheap. Give yourself time to settle into your respective roles with the babies and don’t rush too much.
    They say no major life decision–not jobs, not moving, not anything–should be done the first year with newborns IF you can avoid it.
    It’s just already SO unbelievably stressful. I would wait.
    Your hormones might also shift and you’ll think of staying. Or not. Who knows.
    My personal experience and those of other twins moms I know, would be to wait.
    Just my opinion!
    And yes, we have a one bedroom apartment–it’s about 800 sq ft and totally doable as you as you keep telling yourself (space is overrated!).

    1. I just rewrote a bit so that it’s clear. We will go to the uk next summer for a trip only, to see my family and friends, introduce them to th twins, and also celebrate our marriage! I hope that’s doable. Emotionally I really want to go home for good as soon as possible to stay, and AW is ready too, but we know that following your emotions alone is a dangerous road and there are a million practical reasons to stay on till 2014. I have to give my school the decision in January 2013 too; the timing is all off. in addition, as you say, those emotions /hormones might change my mind a few months down the road. Who knows ?!
      Good news about the one-bedroom. I think the space for two adults and two small children is totally doable BUT I can’t stop worrying about the space for the STUFF belonging to those people.
      That’s a long way down the road anyway – end of 2014, I should think. We will spend a few months adjusting to life in the UK at my parents’ place.

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